I'll Take My Chances
by weatherly-girl
Summary: Niles finally has the courage.... but is it too late? I wrote this for an english essay and thought it would fit perfectly. I don't normally write sad stories for these two though. First fan fiction, so PLEASE REVIEW. Thanks
1. Dutch Courage

Welcome to my World

It was the only release from the pain.One after the other he drank, until,eventually, the whole bottle was empty.

_**A Few Hours Before**_

The tophats stood out the most.The severity of his situation was addressed by the black suits and the hankerchief, damp from his tears.His world had turned around completely.The axis was spinning out of control and he was on the edge, clinging on for dear life.

The door was his worst enemy. But what was behind it was his worst nightmare.It felt like a lifetime to get to his destiny. His fingers ached and trembled as he placed them on the handle and he gently clutched his side pocket. He swung the door open, closing his eyes as he went, daring to believe he was wrong.

He wasn't mistaken. His tears shuddered down his cheek as his body shook to its very core.He wept and wept and couldn't stop until the early hours of the morning.

As soon as the door swung open a few hours earlier,the sounds of violins flooded his ears. It was the best and worst day of his life. When he heard the news, it was like Heaven and hell in the space of a heartbeat.

They were blissfully happy together.His two best friends in the whole wide world.He should have been elated for them.But he wasn't. He felt so strongly about her but he couldn't tell her. He couldn't.

The string quartet kept on playing as he entered the part of his dream when he wanted to wake up. He glanced at her, momentarily, just to see wether she was looking back. He had to double take as he saw her standing there in her silk wedding dress. The fabric was billowing all the way down to the polished wooden floor.

In that precise moment he felt a surge of confidence burst through him.He, extravagantly, decided to tell her, then and there, what he felt for her. Wedding day or no wedding day, it didn't matter.

He went over to her and brought her to the edge of the dancefloor, making sure that they would not be overheard. He explained to her that she shouldn't have married Donny, she should have married him. She obviously thought he was joking, as she started to sip on her champagne, laughing dismissively.He grabbed her by the shoulders and made her look at him. He made it clear that he had been in love with her since the day they met. He apologised for proclaiming his love on her wedding day but he thought he would burst if he didn't.

The reaction he was given was condescending to say the least." You don't love me, you just think you do"

"You don't know that", an expression of confusion crossing his pale but strong face.

" I do. It isn't real. Someday you'll find the woman of your dreams, but that woman isn't me." A single tear slid down her made up face.

A salty yet comforting kiss was placed on his dry lips. He closed his eyes, savouring the moment. It didn't matter what she said. He still loved her.She slowly but elegantly walked away from him. From his love. He remained elusive throughout the rest of the reception, only chatting if someone came up to him.

One after the other he drank, until the pain was not so bad anymore.


	2. I Love You

_**Two years Later **_

The door hung dangerously by it's one remaining hinge, but behind it lay a secret too terrible to imagine.

He staggered through, the time was 1:30AM. His mother always told him that nothing good happens after 2AM, so he thought it best to get in early.He was on the brink of being drunk, but he was not quite there. Yet.

The pain was unbearable. She was gone from his world. She was gone from everybody's world. The curtains were hanging, tattered and ripped, swaying from side to side. The rotten wooden window ledge was full of fatal wood worm. The window was open widely, bringing in the brisk, winter breeze.The shattered lightbulb flickered and made a slight buzzing sound before it died completely.The dark room was silhouetted by the inspiring moonlight.

_Damn_, he thought. There was no alcohol left in the cupboard and he doubted that it would do anything to ease his pain. He drank so much that he couldn't even taste it anymore.

_I wish it was me who had died in that car crash,not her.Its all my fault._

He had comforted Donny throughout the whole grieving period but deep down he just wanted to sob his heart out.He just wanted her to be back. For the nest two weeks he cried himself to sleep.

He did not think the pain would be this bad. He thought that it was the easy way out. He thought that it would take the pain away. He felt his life slowly seeping into darkness.

Reaching into the top pocket of his khaki jacket he grabbed a piece of ruffled paper. Even unravelling it was a difficult task.Inside it was inscribed a letter. A letter describing his deepest feelings:

_Dearest Daphne,_

_I'm writing this at 4am because I can't get to sleep. I know this isn't the right time to tell you, as you're getting married tomorrow, but I just wanted to say that I love you. I've loved you since the moment we met. I don't anyone has loved anyone as much as I love you. It's ironic, isn't it? You fell in love with the man I hired to get me away from Maris, so that I could be with you. I don't think this is far. I had everything planned perfectly. Get on with my life with Maris, and live happily ever after. Nothing's that simple, I suppose. Then you came into my life, and it was fate. I knew from day one we would be together but now you're marrying Donny and I am left alone. I know that seems selfish but I believe we belong together. Like I told Roz "Why should two people be happy, when four people can be ecstatic?!" I know that this changes everything and if you don't want to see me again, I completely understand. _

_Just know that I Love You, and will never stop. _

_Forever Yours, Niles xx _

The time was 2AM and he fell to the ground with a thud. A pool of blood surrounded his lifeless body. He clutched the drenched letter in his weak hand. Yet he had enough strength to turn onto his back. As he did, he unveiled a knife which was embedded in his stomach.He gave one least thought to his mother.

_She always was right._


End file.
